Allow this moment to surprise you

by Bhante Sathi

If someone were to ask you, "What is the purpose of your life?" what would you say? You may list many reasons or you may draw a blank. If you do come up with an answer, it may not be the same answer you gave in the past. In reality, this is the most complicated question you could ever ask yourself.
On one hand, your parents created you; this was not your choice. Your parents raised you and educated you. You finished school and began to support yourself. Then you may go on to create your own family. This is the system your family has followed for generations, that you pass on to your own children.

I have a middle-aged friend that lives alone and unmarried. Recently, a few people asked me about her. They imply that this person is not normal because she does not have anything people are supposed to have at her age. The reality is, my "normal" is not "normal" for this person. This is what we need to pay attention to: What is this "normal"? We define life for others based on ouw own expectations. If someone goes outside the boundaries of these expectations, we think there is something wrong.

A mindful person sees this as thinking inside a box. With education and experience, we change the way we think and learn not to be narrow-minded. This helps us to become open and free, like one who moved from a small room to a bigger house. That freedom comes from having an open mind.
Yet, that is also a bigger box. A meditator notices these boxes all the time and continually breaks those boxes. It starts in this moment. This moment was not planned by anyone, so what is the reality?

We have a fresh future before us that we have never experienced before. Yet, we expect the future environment to be the same tomorrow and next week. If a friend gains or loses weight we notice because it is not the same as before.

We always want to see what we expect. We always listen to what we want to hear. Once we really start to listen, we see that we are continually creating a stereotype.
A gardener is similar to a meditator in the sense that a gardener allows surprises. This is the nature of life: last year was a great year for raspberries; this year the raspberries were abundant. Yet, in daily life we only allow the surprises that we want. For example, your spouse may change over the years in a way you did not expect. It is unpleasant when your house begins to decay. A dent in the car brings anger. Why are these events any different than a garden crop? The gardener can see that a flower may bloom for a day, then it may turn into something else or it may die. That's alright because it's nature. You can add some fertilizer to help it along, but in the end, nature takes its course. If humans are natural beings, why do we expect that our plan for life will be any different?
Meditators practice looking at the present moment without attaching to it, like the gardener who allows surprises to come and go. The difference is, meditators bring that attitude into everything. Whatever exists in this moment, the meditator accepts it as it is. If something grows, the meditator notices. If it needs water of fertilizer, the meditator attends those needs. But the meditator has no need to complain if everything doesn't grow according to plan.

When the we see something is unbeneficial, we should have a clear mind about the appropriate course of action. Meditation helps one to take action without negativity. When we allow life to surprise us, we can maintain a calm, quet mind. That means observing and accepting nature as many meditators and yogis have done for centuries.
We create ourselves within this system. Stepping out of that box is a hard thing to do. Meditation helps us to observe that, to notice that, and to step out of that. This allows us to take action, yet allow everything to surprise us.

Metta Bhavan Practice

by Bhante Sathi

In the Metta Bhavana practice we’re cultivating love, or friendliness, or lovingkindness.
Our aim is to learn to emit an even supply of warmth to everyone we meet. This is an attainable goal for every human being, but it requires time and commitment.
The practice is in five stages. We cultivate Metta for:
· Ourselves
· Our family and good friends
· A “neutral” person—someone we lack strong feelings for
· A “difficult” person—someone who angers us or who is tiring to be around
· All living beings—this includes animals such as pets
Notice the progression. It’s natural for us to cultivate loving-kindness for ourselves and for our friends. It’s slightly more challenging to do this for people we don’t know well. And it’s a real test to cultivate lovingkindness for those who trigger our angst. Finally, we really must work to remember to cultivate lovingkindness for all sentient beings: i.e. all those known and unknown, visible and invisible—including people we’re in conflict with — plus ourselves of course.
Aside from these five stages, metta practice focuses on four intentions that all living beings be
well, happy, skillful and peaceful.
Metta practice focuses on four intentions. The aim of this meditation is that all living beings be well, happy, skillful and peaceful. We can talk about the four qualities of the Loving-kindness meditation so we understand the importance of this practice and why we wish this for ourselves. When we cultivate these positive qualities we train ourselves to overcome the powerful negative emotions of greed, anger, ignorance, fear, anxiety, and cunning, to name a few.
Be Well
When we hear these two words, our intention goes much deeper than the hope of good physical health. Think about the moment you get upset with someone. Whenever you experience the emotions of anger, frustration, fear, or restlessness, you are not functioning well. Whenever you involve with fear or anxiety, you become much more uncomfortable. No matter how healthy your body is, you will not function properly if negative emotions arise.
Sometimes when your body is sick, you can think properly. Maybe you can tell others. Your mind is stronger than your body. You can tell others what you want and don’t want, but when your mind is sick with fear, anxiety, anger, you are not doing well. What is behind this? This is not something someone can give you. This is something you have to generate. This is something you have to maintiain within you. We often blame others when we are angry or fearful. We blame the future or the past.
The one who has good protection will not involve with those thing. When ever you experience this, you notice it. That is the beginning of protecting yourself. That is the meaning of Be Well. In order to maintain this kind of wellness, you have to protect yourself from the outside.
Be Happy
We always look for happiness outside. We are trying to do something to make ourselves happy. How many times have you ended up unhappy after an attempt to make yourself happy? Just think about purchasing a new car. This can make you happy. Later, the same car can make you unhappy. Maybe you are excited to go to a party and see a new friend. Later, that same situation makes you unhappy.
Where is this happiness and unhappiness? Do you think it comes from the outside? It doesn’t. Happiness and unhappiness you can experience by yourself.
So now with this situation what are we trying to do? We are trying not to depend on the outside. We are trying not to depend on others. We are trying not to depend on the past or future for our own happiness. If you can experience the happiness within you, that is what you are wishing for. That is the permanent happiness that you can experience. That is unconditional happiness. We are trying to generate and cultivate that kind of unconditional happiness within ourselves.
Skillfulness
Skillfulness is very important. What is the opposite of it? What are the unskillful qualities we possess. Outcomes of greed, outcomes of anger, outcomes of ignorance or ego. Greed, Anger, Ego—whatever you do out of one of these, those are unskillful. So we carry these things in order to survive, to offer excuses, not to perform right action, we carry those things.
Recently, I stopped by the print shop to print something. Then I noticed someone left a jump drive on the table. An unskillful mind would encourage me to take it. Right away, I though I should hand this over to the manager of the store. Then, I thought, no, the manager might just keep it. I had many other thoughts. I thought I should keep it. The owner won’t come back. Jump drives aren’t that expensive. All these many thoughts came to my head. I thought, Don’t even touch it. Then, I thought the jump drive would be safer with me. Immediately, I thought, what is happening? Greed had arisen in my heart. I was making a lot of excuses about what I should do. One main quality that goes with unskillfulness: Cunningness. Cunningness 90% goes with ego, ignorance. It makes you heavy. It does not make you light. It makes you tired.
Skillfulness is training to overcome greed, anger and ego, and then cultivate unconditional love, unconditional giving, and unconditional compassion. If you can treat a homeless person like a member of your family, that is a skill. If something bad happens to a loved one, you will not runaway from it. You will help in anyway you can. Can you care the same way for someone suffering on the street?
Is your mind harmful to you or somebody else? If you have a harmless mind you will be free from fear. Those are the skills we should cultivate and we should introduce. What are the desires of those peaceful words, peaceful mind.
Peaceful
What happens with cultivation? You let your heart open. You open with those wishes. This allows you to become free, to become light, not a dark, heavy painful person. You are preparing your heart to accept and respect peace. With mindfulness, with breathing meditation, we are preparing the ground. With this we are planting the seeds in the ground so everyone can enjoy the harvest. None of you family members will hurt themselves because of you, because you aren’t sharing anger, you’re not sharing anxiety, you aren’t sharing fear. When they experience one of those, you will be able to help them build immunity. As a person with a healthy mind, you can look at and see how to help them build immunity. That is what we are doing with this meditation.
We should not give up the practice because of excuses and cunningness.

One who loves his own life loves all

I remember when we saw two people running through our backyard. We immediately thought they were hunters. We ran over to them and asked, “What are you doing in our backyard? You can’t hunt here.” They said they were chasing after a deer they shot a few miles away. We found the dead deer in our neighbor’s yard. As I walked back to my house I thought, “Those who run after another’s death do not know that their own death follows them as a shadow.”

When I was little, I have heard a story about two boys. One day a boy saw a swan suffering on the ground. This swan had been shot by somebody. The boy pulled the arrow out and gave the swan some water. Then another boy came there following the blood track. The second boy saw that shot swan on the other boy’s hand. The second boy said, “Give me my swan; I am the one who shot it.” The first boy said, “No, this one is mine because I am the one who saved him. If it is dead it is yours, since I saved it, it is mine.”

Who owns a life? We don’t have to go with any philosopher to understand that how much we each want to live. To protect our own life we would do anything. To understand this simple, uncomplicated truth we don’t need Buddha, Krishna or Jesus. Only we have to be honest.

We are humans; we can think. Thinkers become honest and open. An open honest person is rich with wisdom. One who has wisdom will not depend on anyone else’s idea.

Some immaturities hide the truth for the purpose of feeding the ego. We play with life, not knowing the value of life. We are ok when we are having fun, but we are not ok when the time comes around for us to die.

Once Buddha went to an animal sacrifice held by group of other priests. They believed this activity would bring power and prosperity to those who participated and that the animals would go to heaven directly. Buddha disagreed with this event. He was begged them to not to kill the animals but they were convinced that this was not bringing harm to those animal at all. They believed that they were freeing the animals from worldly suffering. Buddha asked if they were really sure the animals were going to heaven. The head priest confirmed yes, that they believed. Buddha asked them if they had children and they answered yes. Then he brought the question to them, “If you are that sure that you can send someone to heaven in this way, why don’t you sacrifice the life of your children for your god? If you are not sure if you would do that, then let these animals go.” They freed the animals.

No one can own another’s life. All living beings have the desire to live. Recently somebody asked me, “Do you eat meat?” I replied that I don’t. The person asked why. I said, “Because I don’t want anyone to eat me or kill me for their food. Since I don’t like it, I think nobody likes it.” To understand this very simple truth, we don’t need any religious master. It is simple. Those who don’t know the value of their own life will not understand the value of another’s life. One who destroys another life will destroy her own life.

Non Self

by Bhante Sathi

Twenty years ago my mom and dad used to argue constantly. It was painful to watch. There were many times in my life I wished my father was dead because he made everyone unhappy and we would be better off without him.

But there were many other times I thought he was the best man in the world because he worked hard and was a good provider.

Today I am flying back to Sri Lanka for my dad’s funeral. Even as a monk who spends so much time developing my mind, I find myself clinging to the loss.

Who am I? Am I the person who thought my father should die, or am I the person who thought my father was the greatest? What do I really want? Why did I want it both ways?

I wanted to see my dad alive. But as I tried to hide my tears from the other passengers I realized there was an opportunity to really understand myself and my relationship with the man I hated and loved at the same time.

Then for a moment at 35 thousand feet I felt a sense of relief. The present seemed more important than what happened 20 years or 20 minutes ago.

I asked myself what is real and permanent? Am I permanent? Of course not, nothing not even my body is permanent. Then if nothing is impermanent, what is the answer?

Once there was a group of the priests who approached the Buddha and said, “It is better to be a fox in the Himalayan forest than to be an Arahant because an Arahant does not experience pleasure. Desiring pleasure builds the self." But talk about permanent happiness in heaven is an attachment because no one will want to go if it is unpleasant.

The thoughts of being trapped in the cycle of "I,me, mine" began to melt. Suddenly, my past is not me anymore. Today will be past by tomorrow and tomorrow is not here yet. So who am I?

Non self.